Becoming Wonder-Prone

Did you know scientists have found ripples in the fabric of time, like a background hum undulating through the universe? Amazing! I was sent the article from a friend and I sat in awe, reading about the existence of this phenomenon. I also felt awe that Einstein predicted this long ago without the ability see these waves, posing that time is relative and flexible. And, awe again that we have the technology to now see this relativity in action.

A patient sat in my office and we were discussing his physiology, the patterns through which his body-mind adapts, the ways in which his neuroendocrine system adjusts processes to meet his needs, to manage his immune system, to work with perceptions and experiences of stress or demand. He paused and with widened eyes said, “wow, our bodies are incredible!” Another moment of awe! I feel this everyday when I’m working with people and witnessing the incredible ways our body-mind systems dance through life. 

A snail crossed the sidewalk just after the rain stopped, in quite a rush it seemed for a snail. I snapped a picture to share with the young boy who lives next door who was out on his own neighborhood walkabout searching for snails to save from the treacherous sidewalks, moving them to the bushes and grass. And, I stood, smiling, transfixed by the movement of this slimy body carrying a spiral shell upon its back, and by the delight of a child’s compassion. Again, awe! 

What is this awe? Monica Parker has written an entire book on The Power of Wonder. She traverses the terrain of science and soul, and invites the reader to just enjoy the magic. It’s worth reading. 

But, what does this all mean for us, our health, our well-being? It turns out it matters a lot. The majority of what our body-minds are adapting to are our perceptions, and this demand and the adaptive strategies our body-minds employ in order to survive can have physical, emotional and mental consequences; personally, societally and environmentally.  

Expanding our capacity for wonder and awe has profound impacts on how we perceive our world and ourselves. Awe is the experience of the moments that "engage us, surprise us, take our breath way, and give us the gift of viewing the world, and our place in it, in an entirely different way.” (Parker) Wonder is always there, present in the very fabric of life. But, modern living can cloud our access, leaving us less awe-filled and jaded. In a state of narrow perception, we simply stop looking for the wonder that is all around us. 

This is not a happiness project. It is not looking for the good. It is not spiritual bypassing. It is being in full acknowledgement and presence with reality, without argument, or perhaps with just enough less argument to reduce suffering and expand awareness. And, in this expanded awareness, there is greater resilience, there is a more tangible sense of well-being, even in the midst of what is hard and painful and undesirable. There is more capacity to be with the fullness of life in its immense joy, beauty, expansiveness, and its pain. As Monica says, “wonder embraces that beautiful, messy complexity of life in a way happiness doesn’t. It allows for nuance and depth. It allows for the reality of suckitude.” 

I have seen over and over that when we have greater capacity to be with what is, with the beautiful, messy and sucky parts of life, we also have a wider lens on life.  We have an enhanced ability to recognize our needs with less judgement and to see ways in which life is there to help us meet our needs, and ways in which we can ask for help. We have greater capacity to listen to and be with others in their lived experience which enhances interpersonal harmony and community care. This reduces suffering and harm, personal and collective. 

While some people are more inherently wonder prone, every one of us can practice and build our wonder-proneness. Wonder has four elements: Openness, Deep curiosity, Absorption, and Awe (which in Monica’s work is broken in to two elements - the wow and the whoa). 

Key to the practice is exploration. We don’t have to cognitively understand wonder or awe. Awe is a distinct emotion, all its own, and exploring life in a way that allows us a little more access to experiences of awe is heart-opening, consciousness expanding, playful and wonder-Full. 

Openness is a practice of watching, being open to new experience, internal and external. Again, some people are simply more open to new experience than others. But, no matter our inclination, our habits and patterns can both expand and constrict this openness. Research has shown that expanding our openness supports creativity, imagination, insight and wonder. 

We can support our openness through noticing what reinforces our tendency to be more closed and what supports our tendency to be more open. And then practice that which supports openness. Maybe this is a wonder walk, setting the intention before we begin to notice our surroundings. Maybe we are taking in a broad view, the landscapes and sky, the larger movements of life around us. Or perhaps we are taking in the minutiae, the snail, the flower that has opened overnight.  Sometimes it is simply slowing down enough to observe. We can also practice open observation of our own internal consciousness. Taking time to daydream, to pause before looking for distraction in those moments of boredom or quietness, and simply notice our internal landscape.

With openness, we can then wander our own bodies, minds, emotions, and environments and allow curiosity to blossom. Curiosity for me is the holding of what I sense, witness, experience as if a butterfly had just landed on my outstretched finger. I don’t toss it away or grasp; I am caught in fascination, and I can simply allow the observations and the questions I have about this unique moment to arise and be witnessed. Curiosity does not demand answers, but thrives in noticing, observing, questioning. 

From curiosity arises a tendency to take in that pure open experience and focus it, becoming absorbed in the exploration, the process, the moment. This can be the flow of a well-mastered craft like art or music. It can be embodied, focused physical activity. It can be the exploration of a thought, a question, an insight. It is a feeling of absorption in something that feels alive and vibrant and immersive. 

And, in this state of absorption, we may get the experience of wow, a sudden shift where what we expected to occur is challenged by something much more vast, and our mind gets to reassess. We are shifted out of our default modes. And, as our mind settles its initial discomfort with having to reassess and make sense of this new information, we are more open to the whoa. The whoa is the mind-blowing shift in our experience of ourselves and our place in this world that may change our minds, change our perceptions, change us forever. It is a place of profound discovery, and so often, it leaves us even more open and more curious. 

I want to give one caveat here to different forms of curiosity and absorption. In our modern world, with at-our-finger-tip access to information, we often confuse this absorption state with googling, with following a thread of information through the tangled web. Or, with having a conversation with someone who confirms our already held bias. But, I would argue that this is not an inherently opening experience that cultivates greater empathy, reduces stress and makes us more comfortable with ambiguity; all states that foster greater well being. While it may feel like a mind-blowing journey, it has been curated by the algorithms which feed on profit and emotions like fear which drive more profit. I know, I just took a dark turn, and I am not rejecting technology. As I said at the beginning, I experience awe in what we are able to see through advanced technology, and I love witnessing how curiosity and awe foster discovery and ingenuity. However, I do invite a recognition of surface curiosity in contrast to deep curiosity. 

In surface curiosity, we too quickly narrow our exploration in order to find an answer and satisfy that part of our mind that wants to close the cognitive gap. To say, great, that confirms the thought or bias or perception I already had, and now I am satisfied. This is an inherent desire of parts of our brain, necessary for energy conservation and sometimes survival. But it is not the only way to be curious and is not the deep curiosity that I am inviting and that is inherent to wonder.

Monica calls it a “deep curiosity that is not based on the need to acquire knowledge for a purpose”, even the purpose of assuaging fear, or knowing something. It is based on an “interest in that knowledge, a love of exploration, and a comfort with, even an enjoyment of, complex, nuanced answers… Its purpose is meaning-making, epistemic and learning as pleasure.” It is a state of unknowing, living with and into the questions themselves. 

A wonder practice can actually lead to a greater comfort with ambiguity, and I would argue that in our intricate, awe-filled, nuanced, beautiful world, ambiguity is always more present and real than solidity. While perhaps uncomfortable for certain parts of our brain, giving more practice to the parts that play with ambiguity than to the parts demanding certainty is to our immense benefit. Plus, the more we play, the more fun it is. 

“Drink in the beauty and wonder at the meaning of what you see.” ~Rachel Carson, The Sense of Wonder

In health, 
Dr. Amy